Participating Consciously in Your Own Creation
We can see from the "bird's-eye view" that renewal is our constant activity; that is, if we are willing to accept life's challenges with an adventuresome spirit, willing to become involved with integrity in whatever crosses our path.
Your soul-making process naturally unfolds within you in the form of sequences of dying to the lesser life to make room for the greater one that is always evolving. This process is not a physical death; it is a constant flow through life, dying to the old and being reborn to the new, all in your current body! Some rebirths are preceded by small deaths, when we've died to something that just wasn't very important to us, like a casual friendship, a possession, an idea. Others, however, can be huge and may even require professional help. For example, we might experience the death of a major role or aspect of our life that we felt we needed, like the loss of a significant relationship that nurtured us or a job that gave us our financial support.
This unrelenting movement toward wholeness is the working of a human "individuation" that culminates in our blossoming into completion. The great psychologist Carl Jung spent most of his life studying and writing about this process. To individuate means "to become an indivisible whole, no longer capable of being divided." This process is universal. It's how we humans move from fragmentation to wholeness. It is the work of "soul-making," the shift from being ego-dominated to allowing a greater spiritual identity to come in and spontaneously guide our life.
Can you imagine yourself as completely dominated by the urges of your soul, no longer needy as an ego? Think about it for a minute. What image do you see?
Moving into greater and greater identity through the process of individuation is moving perpetually in the direction of more and more freedom. If we consciously choose to develop, we continue to attract new possibilities that enrich our lives. If we remain unconscious participators in life, however, we tend to attract the same old lessons to ourselves.
The actors or the costumes may change, even the geography, but the issues remain unchanged, and we do not evolve or grow.
Before going any further in your self-exploration, stop for a moment and reflect on how you identify yourself. Who do you think you are? If I were to ask you right now, "Who are you?" what would you reply? Write down ten endings to the phrase "I am..." How you are using these potent words? What qualities or ways of being in the world make up your unique identity? Now write down ten beliefs or maxims which you hold strongly. These should be your convictions, your values, or your morals that never change. Once you've written them, study them and see what they reveal about who you think you are. How are these beliefs related to the answers you gave to the question "Who are you?" Are there any beliefs in your current list that you are ready to let go of?
This question of identity is a serious issue, potentially ruling our entire life. Whatever we become identified with will dominate us, and whatever we can disidentify from, we can direct and use. Before we can ever become whole or healed, we must be clear about exactly who we believe we are and what we believe we are here for. Otherwise, life has no meaning. We'll live as egos, looking outward to others for our identities. We'll buy into each illusion that appeals to us at the moment--the ideal lover, the career that pays well financially, the perfect vacation. These limited goals miss the point of our incarnation story, rich with meaning and sacred purpose.
The Self is not the ego! The ego is only your outer shell, the part of you that takes all the grief! Your ego is your soul's personality, the mask created so your soul can take on human form. The egos of people who know nothing of the Self are defensive and fearful. When the ego is wounded, it behaves irrationally. It projects its emotionality onto others. Anytime we function, even for a moment, as a whole Self, we get a deep sense of well-being, even a peak experience.
We've learned that this means that all untruth in our life falls away. Dying to our illusions is accompanied by sorrow and pain. But we also say good-bye to these unneeded parts of our identity with a certain sigh of relief; for our illusions, though they die hard, are quite troublesome to our evolving soul.